I left work in a good mood and started walking home. The 5 block walk was always a nice wind down from all of the energy it takes to do my job as a fitness instructor. Anyhow, it was a nice summer day and I was walking with a bit of a jaunt.
All of the sudden, I heard the Crows making a lot noise. Now, as a speaker of Crow, I instantly recognized that something was up. Truth is, I can walk within inches of Crows and I recognize their inflections. The ruckus was indicative of something very wrong. My first thought was "Jeez, some cat must be messing with the Crows. Poor asshole cat, he's really getting from those Crows." As I got closer to where the noise was coming from, it intensified.
As soon as I entered the intersection and started to cross the street, I noticed a heavy set woman in her fifties walking towards me. Not so notable except for the fact that she was stark naked. As in not a stitch. No shoes, no nothing. With the Crows yelling and yelling.
As soon as she saw me, she started running towards me. Running. As she breaks into her trot towards me, she started yelling "Look in the mirror! Look in the mirror! I love you!" I wasted no time turning on my heel and walking away from her. It was the Crows that made me decide to not stick around. They were making too much noise for this to be okay and I wasn't about to ignore it.
She began chasing me. So, I picked up pace until I was trotting. All the while, she is trotting behind me with a "slap slap" of bare feet on the pavement and yelling "Look in the mirror!" Thinking quickly, I ran down an unpaved alley and into my apartment. I felt that it was a good idea to call the police non-emergency number and report the crazy naked lady that the Crows were screaming at in my neighborhood, so I did.
To this day, I am not sure that I didn't call the cops on Mother Nature. I would remain doubtful, if it weren't for the Crows.
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